Posts Tagged ‘Secret Ninja Asshole’

Knock it the fuck off… And think it over for a sec will ya?…

Here’s a thought;  When your making your shitty embu videos to “showcase the skill-set and training methods of the ancient shadow warriors of Japan“, take a few minutes before you hit that “Publish” button.  Assuming you consider yourself a professional individual, take a moment and honestly assess for yourself; “Am I okay with this?”  Seriously.  As a professional individual, if this WERE a product, how do you feel about how it’s represented here?

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Allow me to paint a picture…

Begin with an ever-tightening wide shot of the front of your average Bujinkan school, settling to an establishing shot of the sign.  Adorned with various script in that mystical language that sparked our imaginations in time gone by.  Cross dissolve as we pass through the sign, through the wall, and enter the school.  No trophies occupy it’s walls, there is no gift shop.  The walls would be bare if not for racks on each that hold the wooden library that allows us to peer into the history of our art.

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No.  It’s fucking not…

First of all, if you don’t study Japanese Martial Arts, you have no need to own a “samurai sword” you ass-hat.  Now if you just like the idea of having a sword for display, that’s all well and good, and if that’s your position, when I come over for a visit I shouldn’t see it sitting in the corner waiting for the next impromptu training session.  We call them “wallhangers” for a reason.  That’s what they’re good for, hanging on display. (more…)

No you fucking weren’t.  And no it fucking wasn’t.

Welcome to reality.  It’s a place where, by and large, old Asian men hanging around the park looking for children to “teach” is more often a recipe for childhood trauma, than uber-ninja tutelage. (more…)

The booth at The Fair you little psycho…

First off, to me anyway, referring to learning Budo Taijutsu as “Ninja Training” speaks volumes of psychological character.  For one thing you’re actually more studying Samurai arts with a big dollop of Ninjutsu globbed on top, and for another, you’re not “training”.  MMA fighters “train”.  They hit the gym 5-7 days a week, training.  You go to a two hour class once or twice a week to barely break sweat.  YOU, are not “training”.  YOU, are taking lessons. (more…)

I spend quite a bit of time online watching videos and reading articles, a fringe benefit of working a shit job on the night shift.  Every once in a while I come across a particular video or article that helps round out my understanding of this very elusive art.  MOST OF THE TIME however, I’m treated to a slew “How to” videos made by people who really know jack shit about the subject matter.  Many with such wonderful titles as “Real Ninjutsu”, “Ninja Sentry Removal”, “Authentic Ninjutsu”, “How to Lose a Guy in 10”-wait, that’s a different playlist. (more…)